From a long time ago, all the way to the 24th century- spread out to galaxies far, far away and even planets closer to home. From the cities of Earth, like New York City and West City, to the great cities of Coruscant and Neptonian. Here, the men, women, mutants, aliens, elves, hobbits and those other odd creatures of the bloggersphere boldly go where no blogger has gone before. For one may not always be a hero, but one can always blog...

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Where are you people?

When I got into this business, it had a "one of us, one of them" policy. But it's getting harder and harder to find a one of them. Where have you all gone?

I remember the good ol' days when silly super-powered bloggers were posting right and left.

Clearly, you need some incentive. So, hear me out. Being the ingenious paper salesman that I am, I got to thinking, "Hey, isn't the Web just paper that's invisible?" and, "Don't people need invisible paper too?" then, "Especially if that invisible paper has entertaining stuff to read!" and a while later, "Would the entertaining stuff be written in invisible ink?"

After all my pondering about this so-called Internet, I came up with a plan to end all plans. What is the one thing that makes people do stuff?

Other than pointing a gun at them.

Other than pointing two guns at them.

Paying them!

Yes, everyone, it seems, is motivated by a little greenback. So, let's try that. If you're interested in making some money with the online stories of your gallant adventures, then let me know. We'll give it a shot, and I'm not talking about silly Google Adwords where you make $100 every seven years. I'm talking about a real monthly stipend to write.

"Do I have to be a spammer?" you're asking.

I'll answer, "Of course not!" Now, sure, if you want you can go around constantly shouting, "Oh, my God! I have bad credit, yet still can get a loan for my small business!" However, if that's what you want to do, who am I to stand in your way?

My method, though, is far more subtle. It's far more entertaining and comes with an overall less prostitution feel to it. Plus, it's a group effort. If we all join in on the blogging fun, we can be more beneficial to potential sponsors and reap greater rewards.

If you don't like it, I can always just go back to bag and tagging you.

(So, seriously, comment here or email me at bennet at if you're interested.)