Sylar's Bachelor

The Internet's best, brightest and indeed sexiest are competing for the affection of one cross-dressing brain-eater. Why? It must be that the world has gone mad. I blame Mr. Clean.

I myself am in this challenge, but let me assure you, I have no romantic interest in Sylar. I'm merely on a mission for The Company. It is my duty to bag and tag this crazy evil-doer.

In the meantime, I might as well make the most of the situation. There's a lot of familiar faces, some new ones and some that are just plain ugly.


If you or your loved ones would like to join in on the action, from the sidelines, then go to Burnt Toast Diner, where all the Heroes love action is going down.

"But Noah," Private Hudson may ask, "what is Burnt Toast Diner? Do they serve minorities?"

Indeed they do, Private. Learn About Burnt Toast Diner Here; you'll thank me when you're older.

I should warn you, there is a certain FBI agent competing in this competition. She is crass and reminds me of a female canine, but with more facial hair. Of course, if you want to check her out, you'll have to visit the Diner.

But don't worry, ladies. There's plenty of eye-candy for you all as well. Not only will you enjoy the amazing sexiness of my horned rims, but there's also the sluttiest man of flight alive...and he's dying as we speak!

So, get off your hineys, then sit back down on 'em and take a cyber-stroll to Burnt Toast Diner.

Tell 'em Noah sent you.