From a long time ago, all the way to the 24th century- spread out to galaxies far, far away and even planets closer to home. From the cities of Earth, like New York City and West City, to the great cities of Coruscant and Neptonian. Here, the men, women, mutants, aliens, elves, hobbits and those other odd creatures of the bloggersphere boldly go where no blogger has gone before. For one may not always be a hero, but one can always blog...

Saturday, January 07, 2006


I got invited to this blog by Shaak Ti a while ago... weeks in fact... maybe a month... Anyway, I got the e-mail, decided I'd consider it, and then forgot all about it. I do that often. Now, if I can remember who I am, I ought to introduce myself.

My real name is Chris, 16, from New Zealand. Officially, I work for Waitemata District Health Board filing medical specimens. Unofficially, I work for Count Dooku and General Grievous writing scripts for short films and providing much needed cynicism. My favorite subjects at school are Latin and Chemistry; I do not like Chinese food; my star sign is Sagittarius and my motto is "sarcasm is the spice of life". Right, enough about me, now on to... who's my character again? Ah, yes, Jar Jar.

Why did I start a blog like this?
I ask myself that question every day. I wanted to exercise my creative writing skills, and have a bit of fun in the process if at all possible. I had read Yoda's and Obi-Wan Kenobi's blogs, and liked them. Ergo, I now spend two or three hours a week pretending to be a deranged frog-man with a thankless administration job. Not much different from reality, come to that.

Why did I choose Jar Jar?
Jar Jar is my favorite character in Star Wars. Let that sink in. You may have never met anyone else who would willingly admit that. I don't like that everyone hates him so much. How much is he hated? I googled "Jar Jar Binks" once. Three of the top ten pages were informational. One was a fan listing. Five were sites with names like "Jar Jar Binks must die". One was from the Landover Baptist Church newsletter, claiming that Jar Jar was satanic (apparently, "his forked tongue, his lapping, his malignant features, are all too noticeable to the Christ-centered man") and corrupted small children. I was also furious that George Lucas gave him one frikkin' line in Revenge of the Sith.
In short, I wanted to get Jar Jar some good press for once.

If I post often, where do I get my ideas?
Ah... ideas... let's just move along, shall we? I'll have some by tomorrow afternoon, I promise...

Where do I find pictures to post?
Well... I don't. Jar Jar's blog is actually rather featureless with regards to pictures.

So - hello, here I am, how are you? Yes, I want to know.


Blogger Deadpool said...

Howdy, I thought Jar Jar could be fun. He's not my least favorite Star Wars character.

7:22 PM

Blogger Vegeta said...

Jar Jar Satanic? that's the funniest thing i've heard in a while. I didn't hate him or love him in episode 1 IiI still think ewoks are worse.

7:57 PM

Blogger Master Yoda said...

I am fine, thanks for asking.

I was annoyed by Jar Jar in the movies, but that was probably the intent. I have to say, if Lucas had let you write the character, Jar Jar would've been eminently more entertaining.

By the way, "filing medical specimens" sounds like a euphemism.

8:52 PM

Blogger Jar Jar Binks said...

Oh, don't worry. The specimens are encased in blocks of wax. I don't actually have to touch them in their raw state. In fact, they outrank me in their raw state. If your small intestine decided to give me an order while I was at work, I'd have no choice but to drop everything and hop to it.

Death to Ewoks.

4:05 AM

Blogger Master Yoda said...


Everyone needs to know their place at work.

2:43 PM

Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...


My small intestine says "feed me."

Or is that my stomach?

11:05 AM

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7:53 PM


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